Who Is Jon Stewart? What is Jon Stewart?

Surely, by now you must have realized you're the undisputed leader of TV punditry and perhaps even the mainstream media as a whole. Why someone would seek that shameful title is perfectly beyond me, but I'm not blind to the power it has allowed you to wield. The question is how do you want to use it, and are you going to use it at all?

You have a very limited window of opportunity to escape the inevitable one-way ticket to shillville that awaits all members of the mainstream media. For years you served as a much needed comedic voice of reason for the nation, persistently pointing out the silliness and mutual hypocrisy on both the phony left and phony right. But with the internet finally beginning to fulfill it's potential, it would seem that the role you play is becoming more and more passe. With much easier access to good information, it's becoming more clear to some people what you are and are not permitted to talk about.

For example, your corporate overlords felt it too risky to allow you to dig too deeply into the 9/11 commission report. So you've almost never mentioned it. Simply put, this type of sell-out behavior could have been overlooked back when we needed you. Now that we don't, it can't. And your whole "I'm just a comedian, folks, don't hold me to journalistic standards" argument has worn thin by this point. The reality is that a huge portion of American nitwits turn to you for their knowledge of current events. As repugnant a fact as that is, we must deal with it. You should seriously consider breaking free and leaving Viacom to die from the weight of its own irrelevance.

Think about it. You're rich. You will continue to be rich, and also have new opportunities for profit, if you were to start your own web-based program. Everyone would follow you in droves, and with that kind of support, you should be relatively safe from assassination. Or you could continue along your current path and have the name Jon Stewart forever placed in the Gibroney file. Your choice. I'm just trying to help out.

(Also, 5 bucks to anyone who can tell me what movie this blog's title is from.)